Pensacola Christian College

I spent/wasted four years at this college. Yeah I got a decent education, but I could have done that at lots of other colleges that wouldn't have at the same time been so legalistic and controlling. Transferring isn't much of a choice since PCC ISN'T ACCREDITED and other colleges view their credits as monopoly money. I am still annoyed about the way that institution blurs the lines between Christian principles and PCC "rules". There were several times in the late evening that I needed to run down to the campus library from my dorm room to get some info on a project, but after donning my dress slacks, button up shirt, dress socks, dress shoes, belt, and fixing my hair (couldn't wear a hat), the library had closed in that 15 minute time frame that it took me. After I had been out of college for a few years and gotten married, I took my wife back to see my alma mater. After the 12 hour drive to get down to Pensacola and paying for the hotel room for the three day stay that we planned on, we were on campus for about 10 minutes before I was approached by 5 members of PCC security and succinctly told to get off campus and not come back. I graduated in good standing with the college and had been down to visit before then, so it kinda surprised me. I called Dr. Ohman (hope you're reading this you fat @$$ b*****d) 4 times total to find out what the deal was, and he never was "available" or returned my calls. (His secretary Aimee Garland needs to shave her sideburns more often by the way.) This experience sealed my wife's suspisions about the college and confirmed that we, nor our children, will ever be seen near this campus, for many reasons (continue reading).

PCC isn't ALL bad though. The following is a list of the most important lessons learned at PCC...enjoy!! I didn't.

1. Any crappy life experience I encounter I can compare it to my 4 years at PCC and I instantly feel better

2. I learned to keep my mouth shut around other people because there are lots of butt-kissing students at PCC that are just LOOKING for an opportunity to rat someone out so they look more spiritual than the next guy

3. If you're gonna violate a rule you better follow through with some pretty damn good lies and not "get a conscience" in the middle of it all (really throws a wrench in the works)

4. Trust no one
5. Follow the dress code and do everything else outwardly according to specs and you can get away with a lot more

6. When violating a rule act like you know what you're doing (in other words, confident) and you'll get away with it 9 out of 10 times

7. Suspect everyone as the mole until you have some really good dirt on them
8. If you violate any of the no touching rules with your girlfriend, she will own your @$$ once you break up

9. Stay away from the people with bad attitudes because they won't be around long and neither will you if you hang out with them

10. Don't brag no matter how much time has passed since you broke that rule
11. When you first arrive on campus start a precedent by smiling at the deans address them by name (last name) when you see them around campus and continue that indefinitely

12. Be careful who you piss off this semester because they may be in a position of authority next semester (either that or they will be your lab partner)

13. If in doubt keep your mouth shut
14. You probably will collect more demerits for forgetting to scan back in than you will get for the one time you get caught for not scanning out (this makes the assumption that you don't try something stupid like going to the mall in jeans. Hmm three guys with neat haircuts and short sideburns wearing jeans in Cordova Mall? Coincidence? I think not)

15. If you are going to study after lights out, buy a small touch lamp so you can turn the light off quickly without making a clicking sound (I have one for sale)16. Don't tell a prospective employer about how weird your alma mater is because they'll assume you went to some cultish Bible school where you learned no useful real world knowledge

4th Year Male -- Class 2002

Campus Aesthetics: A+, Individual Value: F